No More Status Quo
Ann Fry

February 1, 2008

(It is important to add that Ann Fry was actually born on January 1, 1946, which puts her into the category of being on the cutting edge of our fellow baby boomers. But, even more interesting, Ann Fry has no intention of "stopping or quitting work." As the Editor of NowWhatJobs.net, I strongly agree with her conclusion on this subject.)

If it’s time for a change, here are some strategies

I have a mantra that I live my life by. It’s “Aw, what the heck, do it anyhow!” It’s especially what I say to myself when I’m scared to death to do what’s next. Like many, I know how important it is to rattle my cage, to do things new and differently, to grow my career, add new products, change my topics—the list goes on. But I get stopped by fear, negativity, doubt, procrastination and, sometimes, by sheer laziness.

You know the saying, “If you do what you’ve always done, then you get what you’ve always gotten.” Well, I want things to be different. I get bored with the same old things; and if I get bored, perhaps others (as in my clients) do as well. Consider that taking the risk and doing things differently might bring you much more repeat business. Perhaps an even more attractive reason for doing things differently is that it will keep you original, fresh and on top of your game.

Keep in mind that different is, well, different. It’s not necessarily better; it could be more or less; just not the same old same old. To start, take a look inside your closet (metaphorically speaking) and determine what to keep and toss, and what to add and do differently. The New Year is the perfect time to take stock of what needs to be changed. Take a moment and say out loud to yourself, “You know, one thing I really want to try doing is __________ [fill in the blank].” Okay, so that’s something you want, but the real issue—and test—is how to make things different.

Different Is as Different Does

Just because you say you want to make a change doesn’t mean you will. Most speakers have tons of ideas and an equally full desire to change, but when it comes down to doing it, well, things get in the way. We get attached to how things are, we become nervous and scared, and all of a sudden everyone has an opinion about whether we should make a leap. Then we get stuck in change paralysis. Listen, achieving the status quo is easy. Change, well, that’s a bit more of a challenge.

So, what’s a speaker to do? Here are three simple steps to going from wanting things to be different to actually making things different.

1. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do (or the alternate: Do what you do want to do). Assess, really assess that the things you want to do are because you really want to do them. Assess and make sure they make sense and fit into your model. If they’re exciting and they reflect you, then go for it. Case in point, my friend Bob. He’s always loved speaking and mentoring, but along the way (for 30+ years) he got tied up in the mortgage world. He doesn’t want to do that anymore and he’s giving it up. Now, he’s finally revving his old speaking talents. He loves being in the front of the room. He’s doing due diligence, researching his niche and he’s taken me on for a mentor. However, he clearly knows it’s a bit of a scary business. He’s worried about money and all that, but he’s going for it. And, he’s thrilled and excited and passionate.

2. Don’t let anyone else tell you that you can’t do it. People love to have opinions and they’ll share them, even without an invitation to do so. They will, in fact, kill your dreams and dampen your spirits if you let them. So, when you know what you want, do it despite other’s objections. That translates across the board. Speak on the topics that are meaningful to you, dress in the style that suits you, write the book others said you couldn’t and never, never, ever let them talk you out of it. Consider Pat. He was tired of being a CFO and crunching numbers in a corporation. He wanted to teach and speak and consult, particularly with non-profits. He did the research, went on some interviews, but his wife was insistent that their lifestyle would change too much. He let her talk him out of his dream. He took another CFO job and gave up. Don’t let this be you.

3. Always say, “Aw, what the heck” over and over. Then take the leap and do it anyhow—and don’t look back. In early 2006, I decided I wanted to leave Austin, Texas, and move to Manhattan (as in New York). It was my dream. I can’t tell you how many people told me it was a bad idea. In my heart, I knew it was right. I moved anyhow. My business is thriving, I’m busier than I’ve ever been and I’m happy. The move revitalized my speaking and consulting career. I have a whole new direction and a lot more work. I was scared to pick up and move by myself and start over and reinvent. I wasn’t 22. I was much older. It was definitely playing outside the lines for me. But, I didn’t want to “settle” for something that didn’t feel good anymore. So, I did it anyhow! It’s thrilling.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “It sounds too simple. It’s selfish to just do what I want and to not consider others. I have responsibilities. How can I just leap?” Come from the premise that you only go around once in life and ask yourself some tough, but revealing, questions:

• How’s it going for you?
• Are you happy with where you are?
• Are you sharing what you want the world to know or are you suppressing?
• Are you letting others tell you how to do your career, or are you taking the risks to develop your unique style?
• What’s missing? What do you really want to be doing, saying, creating?
• What are you putting off? And for what rainy day are you waiting?
• What gets in the way of you having it or being it?
• How can you get out of the way?

Ann Fry is the "head boomer"/CEO of It's BoomerTime. She's also a workplace "culture" expert. Ann is the person you want to work with when you want things to be different. You can email her at ann@itsboomertime.com or call her at 212-787-6320.

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